


it's still dark outside

by EVVS



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 19:43:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21142169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EVVS/pseuds/EVVS
Summary: Essek could feel two sets of eyes on him. It was an unsettling thing, to be known like this. It was more unsettling to know another so intimately. “I know you cannot see well in the dark. I didn’t want you to think I had simply left.”The pause in the air felt heavy. Deliberate. Caleb’s head was quick to process certain things, especially rushed plans and the arcane arts. His thoughts and feelings, on the other hand, took time. Especially when he had thoughts about his feelings.





	it's still dark outside

**Author's Note:**

> There just aren't any satisfying tags I can think of for this. It just is what it is.

The moon’s beams were just enough light to read by. Still, Essek pressed his fingers to a wick and gave the desk a soft, purplish glow. He spread out one of the scrolls he’d brought from his personal collection and set the candle on one end to keep it from furling once more.

He looked over his shoulder to the bed, seeing a mess of a wizard resting there in the dim light. Caleb was wrapped in blankets, his hair swept aside. The cat, Frumpkin, lay awake, watching with his big, golden eyes.

Essek allowed himself a faint smile before turning back to his work. After all, sleep was unnecessary. There were things to be scribed so that Caleb could have his own copy of these spells to copy for later, when he was stronger.

Pulling out his inks, he set to work copying the intricate details of different runes. 

After a few minutes, the quill paused mid-scratch as Essek heard the sound of a soft thump. One he knew just a bit too well.

Sure enough, there was a gentle rub against his leg as the cat arrived on quiet paws. No longer guarding his master.

He swallowed a sigh, his quill etching the parchment once more. “I’m sorry to have woken you. I’ll try to be more quiet going forward.”

The blankets rustled slightly as Caleb shifted. There was a quiet grunt as he sat up. “It is fine. It is not like you have much in the way of footsteps.”

“Was it the light, then?” he asked, pressing the wick between his forefinger and thumb, snuffing it instantly, harmlessly. “I can see in the dark, I can go without it.” The words were matter-of-fact, almost sharp.

“Then why did you light it?” Caleb asked, no longer rustling in the bed.

Essek could feel two sets of eyes on him. It was an unsettling thing, to be known like this. It was more unsettling to know another so intimately. “I know you cannot see well in the dark. I didn’t want you to think I had simply left.”

The pause in the air felt heavy. Deliberate. Caleb’s head was quick to process certain things, especially rushed plans and the arcane arts. His thoughts and feelings, on the other hand, took time. Especially when he had thoughts about his feelings.

Feeling like he could hear the gears grinding in Caleb’s head, Essek turned around slightly in his seat, chancing a look at the quiet man.

Caleb’s lips were just slightly agape in that way when he was just short of the right words. His eyes stared at a point just past Essek, which he didn’t mind. The gears seemed to have hit some kind of snag. 

So he held still, waiting, watching. Essek often found himself with little patience, but with Caleb, this time was precious.

He didn’t like to dwell much on that.

At last, Caleb sighed softly. Mostly to himself, it seemed. “Have you, uh, have you had your trance yet tonight?” he asked, searching Essek’s face for something that couldn’t be placed.

“No, I haven’t. I thought it would be nice to wake up next to one another for once.” Usually Essek stayed with Caleb in those first few hours of sleep and spent the rest of his time with books or scrolls. Sometimes it was a grueling four hours, but it was often wonderful to be the first thing those clear blue eyes saw in the morning. And to see the accompanying smile? Made the droning hours entirely worth it.

Although he hadn’t said it yet, Essek was certainly in love with one Caleb Widogast.

“Would you mind lying with me again?” asked Caleb, tentative but yearning. His eyes pleaded everything his words could not. “I-It can be just for a few moments, I know it is not the best expenditure of your time-”

Essek interrupted gently, warmly, “Any time with you is well spent.”

With that, Caleb seemed to unwind a bit, even finding himself with a tired smile. No, the words were not there, but Essek could see how Caleb longed for something he felt he didn’t deserve.

Drawing his hands along his covered legs, Essek coaxed his familiar runes to life. Magic allowed him to move when his physical body did not.

The bed was warm, and Caleb moved aside to allow Essek more room. The drow wrapped himself comfortably around Caleb, pressing his nose into the nape of the younger wizard’s neck. “I want you to be an important part of my life,” he murmured with a content sigh. “You shouldn’t worry so much about time and space.”

“Essek…” Caleb sighed.

“I’ve invited you to my home, and you don’t come because you say you don’t want to be a bother. You give me room on this bed, more room than I need, when I only want to be close to you.” He pulled Caleb against his body, even coaxing gravity to intertwine their legs. “And to say that you are not the best way for me to spend time?” He breathed his own sigh. “I’m here because I want to be with you. I don’t know how much clearer I can be about that, Caleb.”

It took a moment, but Caleb’s hands found one of Essek’s and gave it a tight squeeze. “I am sorry for not understanding better. I have thought for so long that I… should not have a chance to be given such a… a kindness as you have shown me.”

“Please don’t apologize,” he said gently, kissing the soft flesh of Caleb’s neck. “You deserve to be happy.”

There was quiet. Then, Caleb murmured, “You are too kind, Essek.”

“You are too detracting, Caleb.”

He shifted uncomfortably after that but then settled into Essek’s arms. Frumpkin, too, found his way to their feet. “You do not have to trance now if you do not wish to.”

“It’s easier to trance when I can feel you breathing beside me.”

Caleb squeezed Essek’s hand once more. “Thank you.” Barely a whisper.

Essek squeezed in return. “Anything for you.”

And Essek felt certain that Caleb had said so much more.


End file.
